Embrace the Day

A beautiful friend of mine has inspired me into dedicating myself to something that is practically unthinkable for myself: detoxing. Lizelle returned from Switzerland in the beginning of April and has recently started this detox called the Master Cleanse. Now, many may know of this 10 day detox and some may claim that it is simply an extreme diet, but I've decided that I want to make it more about the mental and spiritual rather than simply just the physical.

Lizelle is one of those people I love to say I know because telling stories about her almost makes my own self-worth feel greater. But the simple thing about her is that she has more self-motivation, determination and will power than anybody I have ever met. For her to be doing this detox in the midst of all of our friends, whom she hasn't seen since before her half-year sabbatical in Europe, is nothing short of astonishing. She has made the impossible seem very real to me.

After seeing her in action, I didn't decide immediately that I want to try her path. I thought about the way my life is at the moment for a very long time and then began to research what this detox thing was about. I discovered that the challenge was something that I personally wanted to overcome, like a marathon, and I was ready to begin immediately. But I am not as silly as I sometimes appear. I know that I have had some bad habits and I do not have the healthiest of bodies at the moment. Jumping into this thing full gear would be begging for failure. Therefore, I am currently in the three day prep stage for the cleanse. Fruits and veggies today, whole organic juices tomorrow, and loads of OJ to lead me into the acidity of what I will now call "the spicy lemonade".

This process will be more than a 10 day body cleanse, it will be a 16 day life-cleanse. A little over two weeks to contemplate my life and the control I have over it. I want to focus, practice my mindfulness, take time to care for the temple that is my body, and appreciate each simplicity and complexity that makes up my life. My explicit goals in this cleanse are not just to stay strict to the detox, but also to stretch my muscles and my mind and exercise my body and thoughts. Put it all down on paper, in this blog. And re-discover the way I can live my life. Aware of the chaos that it will inevitably be.

I don't expect this to be simple, but I intend on beginning on this arduous journey today. Last night I re-read a blog that I wrote earlier about Benjamin Button and stumbled upon that inspiring quote I seem to tend to forget:
"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

I'm starting over. My world is in my hands, and I want to have a story to tell.

What a huge difference there is between becoming inspired and following through with an inspiration. As I watched the tormenting and beautiful movie "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly" yesterday during the rainy afternoon, I was saddened by how far I felt from the first step of inspiration: simply being inspired. Here was this man who had had an incredible life and one day it was horribly torn from him like a rug being pulled out abruptly from beneath his feet. He lost his ability to move and to speak, but he did not lose his ability to think, imagine, or remember. Now, from an optimists outside perspective, it is fathomable that a great mind could make it through such a mess without wanting death, because he has not yet lost it all. But what he did took strength, and guts, and depth, and sheer self-motivation. He was locked inside his own world, unable to control anything physical in his realm. He proved the power of the mind, the beauty of imagination.

And still, this touching and obviously inspiring movie did not even inch me off the couch yesterday. Today, I am off. I am ready to live: step outside, realize that our short time here on earth is a gift, and make it grand and beautiful and lived.

When I think of craving, I will think of today's daily dharma, written by Thubten Chodron:
Reflection on impermanence and death is an excellent opponent force for worry and for craving. When we reflect on impermanence and our own mortality, our priorities become much clearer. Since we know that death is certain but its time isn’t, we realize that having a positive mental state in the present is of utmost importance. Worry can’t abide in a mind that is content with what we have, do, and are. Seeing that all things are transient, we stop craving and clinging to them, thus our happy memories and enjoyable daydreams cease to be so compelling.

Small desires do not compare to the transience and impermanence of our life. They will be my motivators to realizing what is important, and what is not. If I can control these desires with my mind, my body will then decide what is important and what is not. I don't want to be someone without any guts...