anticipation

Planning trips to California, Colorado, Aruba, and Costa Rica, I feel like every time I get home I'm planning another trip away. I know why I am doing this (I want to travel!) but I really feel like I should examine my intentions in order to see if there is anything I am hiding from myself, or ignoring. Why does it not feel like enough when I take a trip somewhere and have a great time? So many people are satisfied with taking a vacation to get away for a while and then they return back to their lives and live them in the present. The fault of my constant planning and dreaming and traveling is that it is non-stop and I never become present in the moment until I'm out traveling.
Why can't I live my life here in the present moment? I'm taking everything around me for granted. Why? Because it's cold, and it's old, and I'm ready to move on? Well, I'm here. And I'm not stuck. I'm here because I choose to be here and I should make the most of it. It might (and probably will be) my last months here living in New York. And I know I am going to miss it. So why just yearn to leave? It'll happen when it happens, I don't have to wish it to come sooner. I'm spending all of my time in anticipation, when I should spend all my time here, now, in the life I have in New York. It is a great one. I am so lucky. My friends, all together, spending time laughing and dancing and playing and being young. How long does that last? Later in life, it might be a whole new group of people and everything here will just be a memory. But I love these people, so I must not let those memories be few and far between. I gotta live day by day, and plan week by week. There's so much love to give and receive.